


The Hardship Of A Strider

by MattieKai



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cutting, Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-07
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-07 20:16:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MattieKai/pseuds/MattieKai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ON HIATUS! DISCONTINUED!! SORRY QAQ I LOST INTEREST IN THIS STORY!!! I might continue some time later in the future!</p><p>THERE IS A NO STRIDERCEST VERSION TOO IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!!!</p><p>https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10002920/1/The-Hardship-Of-A-Strider</p><p>Every six months, Bro decides too snoop through Dave's room. Dave doesn't know this of course, and when he does this one, he finds a metal box with weird letters on many pieces of paper and used and new razors. Bro does the only thing he knows how to. Throw the razors away to show he knows and that he wants Dave to stop. But of course, things aren't that simple. Especially when you are a Strider.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HUMANSTUCK!
> 
> So this is something I made, something I think Bro would do if he ever found out Dave cut. Don't hate me QAQ
> 
> ALSO: I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WANT THIS TO BE STRIDERCEST OR NOT! GIVE ME A VOTE PEOPLE! WRITE STRIDERCEST IN THE COMMENTS OR NO STRIDERCEST IN THE COMMENTS! 
> 
> VOTE STOPS BY FEBUARY 6, 2014

It was an average Monday morning. Dull and cursed at by mostly everyone that has to go somewhere that day.

Awe, yes. A Monday. A lovely day too snoop in your little brother's room while he is at school. So, that's what Bro does.

He walks into his thirteen year old brother's room, not giving two shits about invading Dave's privacy. He does this once every six months, curious on what's going on in Dave's life. What's new in his ironic coolness. He's done this since Dave started going to school and through all these years, the younger one hasn't noticed it one bit.

Bro looked at Dave's half bookshelf, running his fingers across the album covers he keeps stacked there, pausing when he feels one way to thick. He pulls it out and chuckles a little, noticing magazines titled, "Busty Asian Girls". He also sees a few "Hot Rod Man Hubs" too. Which he is cool with. Whatever Dave likes, doesn't matter. He has himself tried for the other team. He pauses at that, thinking about the hot day he met the islander, his mustache not thick, just enough to see it over his sun tanned skin. He wore those dorky glasses, tan shorts, that shirt that showed those hot muscles...

Stop.

Don't think about that anymore.

Too hot.

WAY TOO HOT!

He shakes his head to clear his thought on that sexy man that was about a half older his own age.

He puts the hidden magazines back in place, not a centimeter away from where it was before. Exactly where it was before. He looks at the rest of the records, not seeing anything out of place.

The next thing Bro checks is the shelf hung on the wall, holding insects in bottles, only difference there is the new bug in his collection.

He then goes and checks Dave's closet, seeing Dave's clothes he's bought him and some from his internet friends. He sees the anime shades he gave Dave when he was a little man, on one of the shelves in the closet. He almost goes to check something else out, but stops when he sees a small metal box, hidden by clothes on the floor. He picks up the box, careful to not change how the clothes are. He chuckles, expecting this too be a diary of sorts. He opens it and sees random clippings that Bro believes to be of value. He also sees some random notes written in some weird language that probably was made up. He'll translate it later.

He moves them aside and almost freezes. At the bottom is old and new razor blades. The old ones have rust and some blood on it. He also sees some flattened band aids as well.

"Damn..." He cusses. This is one thing he doesn't know how to handle. So, he does the first thing that comes to mind. Throw the razors away.

It'll let Dave know two things.

One; Bro knows.

Two; Bro wants Dave to stop.

Bro walks to the bathroom and throws the razors away. He puts the box back to exactly where it was, then goes back to the bathroom and takes out the-not-even-close-too-being-empty trash. He goes back upstairs to is apartment and puts another bag into the small trash bin.

He next goes back to Dave's room and checks if there is anymore razors, finding none though. He leaves the room, everything looking like it did before he entered.

For the rest of the day, he works on his smuppets, trying to keep his mind off of the razors. He sighs and then orders Chinese. Dave's favorite.

It comes fifteen minutes later. He pays the guy his money, then brings the food into the kitchen, simply pushing things off the small island and placing the food there.

Just as he sets the food down, he hears the door open.

"Hey, saw the Chinese guy. We eating that tonight?" Dave calls out as he walks into the kitchen, dropping his school bag on the floor and sits down on a creaky chair. Bro nods and hands Dave his food. They eat in silence, only sound is Dave standing up to get Bro some soda-pop and himself some AJ.

Bro says nothing about the razors, knowing Dave will find out the next time he goes to scar his wrists or wherever he cuts.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a continuation of the previous chapter~!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I have a ten page Drama and a 1000 word autobiography to write for school... What do I do? I write fanfiction~! XD
> 
> Again, sorry if this is a shitting chapter! QAQ

Dave and Bro sit at the table, eating Chinese. Bro notices that Dave keeps looking at him, looking like he wants to say something, but never truly opens his mouth.

Finally, after a while, Bro gets annoyed slightly -though doesn't show it- and asks if there was something Dave wanted.

"No. Just wondering if I missed something," Dave shrugs, taking another bite of his sweat and sour chicken.

Bro lifts his brow. "Missed something?" He questions the younger Strider.

"Yeah. You bought Chinese," Dave says as though that answered everything.

"Lil man, you're going to have to be more specific," Bro says, rolling his hidden eyes.

"Well, Chinese is my favorite. You usually buy pizza. Chinese is usually for Xmas or birthday and all," Dave simply says.

Bro nods his head. "Don't over think it," And with that, he stands up, throws away his empty container, then flash steps to his room.

The older Strider closes his door, then lays on his puppet covered bed. He moves his head to look at the table that has all his puppet making equipment, seeing his current puppet in the making. Its a deep red, a bigger nose then the ones he usually makes. The only thing he needs to finish is it's plump puppet ass. So, he sits up and then moves over and takes a seat in his worn out desk chair and begins to finish the puppet.

While making the puppet, he zones out, his mind simply occupied with the making of the puppet. He of course can do this, do to being the great Bro, can tell, even if he isn't paying attention, if anyone enter his hearing range. And to set a good example, his ears pickup when he hears rummaging in the room across from him. He stops what he's doing and stands up, going to investigate what the noise was.

Without knocking, he walks into Dave's room. The first thing he notices is that the room is more messy then it usually is. And the reason for this is that all of the stuff in the closet is now all over the floor. And Dave, well he is half way in his closet, throwing things out, looking for something.

Then it clicks. He's looking for the razors! You decide to make your presence known.

"What are you looking for?" Of course you know the answer to that, but you being Bro, you say this, obviously angering the younger one.

He stops and then turns to look at you. And damn, you know he is trying his hardest to keep his cool, but the way his jaw is stiff, you know he is pretty pissed.

"I think you ought to know this Bro. Seeing as how you stole it," Dave says, his voice -surprisingly- steady.

"Then why are you tearing up your closet?" You fold your arms across your chest and lean back against the doorway.

Dave just glares at you. Any other person, it would look like he was just staring at you. But you can tell. How can you tell? Well, it is easy. You can feel the glare. Ever since he was little he could give a glare that made most cringe. You guess it's just a little gift he's got.

Dave stands up from his mess and then walks closer towards you, standing right in front of you.

"So, what'd you do to them?" He asks.

"I don't know Lil Man. You got to be more specific to what you're talking about."

A twitch in Dave's brow tells you that you are definitely pissing him off.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," The Dave says, his voice going a little rough with anger.

"Gee Lil Man. Wish I could help you out. But I've got no idea what you're talking about," A cocky smirk appears on you're lips.

He moves his jaw a bit. Then moves to walk away from you. "Fine. Since you don't know what I'm talking about, I won't expect it to disappear when I get a knew one."

You smirk drops and you move to look at him, standing strait, showing authority in your voice as you speak. "You buy that shit again, I'll throw them out and ground you." You tell him, your voice serious.

He raises the eyebrow this time. "Buy what exactly? Thought you don't know what I'm talking about."

You take a large breath in and then breathe out. "Okay. Enough games. The razors. You're not buying any more." You tell him strictly.

"I don't see how it's any of your business on how I spend my money," He replies.

"I damn see how it's my business when you're buying shit to leave scars on yourself," You tell him, your voice raising a bit, southern accent going a bit more strong then usual.

"I don't see how it's much different then when you leave scars on me all the time," He tells you, his voice raising as well.

You go silent. Pausing instantly.

"-your room." You say.

You're words confuse him and he looks taken aback.

"What?"

"Go to your room."

He scoffs at you. "You can't tell me where to go."

"GO TO YOUR ROOM! NOW DAVE!" You yell.

He jumps. You've only ever truly yelled at him twice in all his life.

You feel his glare. He then pushes past you and goes back into his room and slams the door shut, causing you to feel the sharp wind rush at you.

You breath deeply again, then out. You go to your room and begin to start a new puppet. The color a slate gray.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness of this chapter! DAMN YOU EXAMS! DX Well, this chapter is in Dave 3rd POV~! ENJOY SORRY IF IT SUCKS!
> 
> OH! Also, this chapter is kind of what happened to me a few years back, so it's a little similar to my life story. Just so you know, the story is getting more twisted~! XD
> 
> Also, for those who do not like Stridercest, go to my other account- https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10002920/1/The-Hardship-Of-A-Strider
> 
> That's all I have to tell you! Enjoy the story~!

Dave stormed into his room, furious and sad. He has never been grounded ever. Not a day in his life! And all because Bro wouldn't be a man and deal with the facts!

Dave laid down on his bed, breathing in and out, calming himself.

After he was calm, a wave of guilt rushed over him.

Dammit! Why did he say that to Bro!? He could tell that really hurt Bro! Hell, he remembers the first time Bro actually really hurt him, when he was eight. He cut him to deep during a strife. Caused Dave thirteen stitches! Bro hibernated into his room. After two days, Dave went to check on him only to find that Bro left through the window.

It was on the eighth day that Bro came back with a shit load of Pizza and Chinese and AJ.

He never mentioned it or said sorry, though Dave understood. He understood how hurt Bro was that he hurt Dave. How he had given him a very deep cut that needed stitches. He understood, he really did, which is why he never talked about that incident. Now about the times he hurts him in the future. He simply brushes it off, knowing Bro will leave for about a week, then come back with his favorite foods and drinks.

Dave sighed and sat up. He walked over to the door and pressed his ear against it. He wasn't going to leave, no that would be stupid. Bro would hear him and stop him. No, he was just checking to see if Bro was near by.

After a few silent seconds he pulled away, deeming it safe. He went to his bed after grabbing a pen and a piece of paper. He sat on his bed and began to write in the foreign language he learned by himself, just for this reason.

**My bro found out about my cutting. I said some mean things to him that I regret. But I won't apologize. Strider's don't apologize out loud. It shows weakness. I also won't tell him why I cut. I won't tell him/talk to him about it either. I don't need to. He wouldn't understand. He probably thinks I'm weak for doing this, that or depressed. But I'm not depressed. I don't do this to get that feeling nor do I do it for attention or because I'm weak. I do it for a sicker feeling. I do it because I'm bored. It's sick, disgusting that someone can get so bored they just damage their body. It's scary that someone gets so bored that they might actually take their life. Boredom is a disease for me. I get so bored I just don't feel or see the point in anything. I live an everyday life. The same routine going by everyday. Wake up, shower, eat breakfast, go to school. During school I chat with people, eat lunch, go home. I come home, drink AJ, go to my room, do homework. Once homework is done, if Bro is home I go online and talk to people or make raps or draw. If he isn't, I cut and scar my body more then it already is. After that, I write my notes.**

**Weekends are a little like the weekdays. But more boring. More dangerous. I wake up, sometimes shower. I don't eat breakfast. I don't see the point in it. I either write, chat, watch movies, draw my comic, or I mix music. It's boring. By the end of the day, I'm cutting deep. The weekends are when I cut the deepest, when I cut the most. The weekends are when my boredom brings me closer to death. It brings me closer to death each time a weekend comes. It's terrifying, because I know the day I'll end my boredom will be soon. I'll become so overwhelmed with this boredom I won't notice I've ended my life.**

Dave stops writing. He folds this paper and then puts it under his bed. He knows his Bro knows where his old hiding spot was so this will be a temp until he can find a new place to hide his stuff. He also needs to buy another razor. Dave sighs and lays down. The feeling of boredom is coming back to him. He sighs. He has no razor. He is so bored.

Dave digs his dull finger nails into his palm, creating crescent moon shaped marks. They aren't even close to breaking skin so he moves them side to side until finally it cuts the skin, creating the blood to come out. He doesn't care. He continues to keep cutting his skin for almost ten minutes. His hands are bloody now.

Dave lays in his bed for a bit, then he sighs and gets up. His mind isn't thinking right now so he doesn't really think about the fact Bro is home. Only thing on his mind is too clean his hands.

When he gets the bathroom, he doesn't even have to turn the light on. It flips on suddenly. He then feels himself being sat down on the toilet seat. He sighs, finally remembering and processing his mistake. He hears the sink turn on and water comes out. He feels his sleeves being pushed up and then a cloth on his hands, cleaning the blood. Within minutes they are being cleaned and patched up.

He moves his head up and looks at Bro. He sees his blonde hair that is partly covered in his grey cap. He runs his eyes down slightly, admiring his bro's body. Strong and muscled, but not so bad it's gross. Suddenly he looks away. He remembers what he is doing. HE is being disgusting, checking out his Bro. It's disturbing, gross, disgusting.

Bro doesn't say anything. He just ruffles Dave's hair and stands up and leaves. He then stops at the door, not turning to looks at Dave.

"Lil man, I know I'm not the best parent, but I hope you understand the things I'm doing for you are for a reason. You'll understand when you get older," and with that, he left.

As per usual, Dave doesn't understand his Bro. He doesn't think he will.

Dave gets up and then walks to the kitchen, getting some AJ then he goes back to his room. He turns his computer on and goes to his chum list and sees John is on. He clicks on John and then types to him.

\- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] -

TG: hey

EB: hey! guess what? a new game is coming out!

TG: new game

EB: yeah! something called SBURB!


End file.
